


I'm Hot, Sticky Sweet

by jscribbles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas smiles and laughs for an entire fic, Crack, Dean is an enabler, Dean/Castiel - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Karaoke, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, TFW takes a break from man pain and angst, cracky tags for cracky fic, dean/cas - Freeform, drinking of the alcohol, human!Cas fluffy, i'm sorry about these tags, sam and kevin are obnoxious, singing of the bad karaoke, this has no plot, you’re welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 22:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14757351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jscribbles/pseuds/jscribbles
Summary: Maybe Castiel shouldn't be so cocky all the time and Dean wouldn't have to make him do karaoke as punishment.“Careful what you wish for,” Cas warned in between breathy laughter, raising his brows at Dean, who continued to tug Cas backwards towards the stage, bumping into other strangers’ tables, not caring. Dean was busy fixing Cas with a challenging stare, his mouth twisted into a fox-like smirk.“Oh no,” Dean incited, throwing one leg up onto the stage, heaving himself up. As he yanked Cas up too, he yelled over the music, “I wish. I wish very much for this. Let’s see how amazing you are at this song, you cocky fucker.”





	I'm Hot, Sticky Sweet

**Author's Note:**

> This cracky fic is for all the terrible, horrible, no-good enablers in the DCBB18 #author's chat who are lovely and deserve this fic. Here, have some fluff, you beautiful people. 
> 
> For everyone else, I'm sorry (not sorry). Un-beta'd.

“Stop!” Castiel cried, flapping his hand to cut off the stream of cheap beer from the pitcher in Dean’s hand as it filled Castiel’s half-empty pint glass.

His flappy hand was slapped away by a mischievous looking Sam, and Kevin grabbed Castiel’s wrists as he made another clumsy attempt to grab the pitcher from Dean.

“Stop!” Castiel whined out again, though he was hardly heard over Sam and Dean cackling at each other.

“I’m not going to drink that,” Castiel slurred, his wide eyes darting to each of his friends.

“Oh, yes, you are!” Dean guffawed, pushing the overflowing beer at Cas, and giving it a mocking clink with his own pint. “You’re gonna drink every last drop, angel boy.”

Cas groaned and began drinking from the glass, battling between looking half-heartedly upset and trying not to laugh when Sam tipped the butt of his glass further into the air with a finger, forcing him to chug it.

“That’s what you get,” Sam teased, grinning into his beer, “for bragging about being able to drink more than everyone else.”

Cas slammed his glass down and wiped beer off of his chin with the back of his hand, shuddering. “I did not say that.”

“Nooo, no, no,” Dean chuckled, “you said--” he lowered his voice obscenely low and imitated --“ _human or not, I have a millennia of alcohol tolerance, blah, blah, blah, I’m the best, vodka is basically potato water’.”_

“I did not say that,” Cas growled, while his friends all chuckled. He shoved a nacho in his mouth, hoping it would soak up some of the alcohol in his stomach. Unlikely though, since he’d already tried that with twelve other nacho chips but the six pints of beer were still making him feel very happy and generally tingly in the face.

“Well, last time Dean got drunk you kind of implied he can’t handle his liquor,” Kevin commented, pointing at Sam, who threw his head back and laughed, pointing mockingly at Dean.

“Oh _yeah,_ ” Sam recalled, grinning so hard his cheeks dimpled and his eyes twinkled, “You literally said Dean was tequila’s ‘little bitch _’_.”

While beer came out of Dean’s nose, Cas tilted his face up, looking suddenly very interested in the grimy steel pipes running along the ceiling.

“Wasn’t that here?” Kevin asked, swinging his finger around, gesturing to the bar. “Wasn’t that the night Dean lost his voice doing karaoke?”

Kevin got a swift punch to the shoulder from Dean, who slid his finger across his throat, shaking his head. “Kevin,” he warned, “what did we say about not talking about that?”

Sam, mid-crunch on a nacho, snorted and covered his mouth as a glob of sour cream dropped onto the table. “It was totally this bar,” he confirmed, crunching loudly and talking out of the corner of his mouth, “he sang like forty minutes of Bon Jovi’s worst hits and then finished on… god, what was that last song?”

“Bohemian Rhapsody,” Castiel supplied, licking salsa off his fingers.

Dean glared at him, shaking his head at the grand betrayal.

“You were very good,” Castiel reassured at the same time that Kevin and Sam exchanged amused looks and chortled, “You sucked.”

A waitress came to their table, dropping off two more pitchers at their table. Dean didn’t pay much attention to her, instead beaming at Cas. Under the table, he kicked his brother.

Kevin rolled his eyes and dug through the nachos, trying to find the holy grail nacho with all the ingredients on it. “He’s just saying that because he’s your guardian angel.”

“Yeah, he’s biased,” Sam agreed as he filled everyone’s drinks, including Castiel’s, who looked slightly panicked at the thought of being made to chug another pint.

“Biased-shmiased,” Dean said, dipping his fingers in the beer pitcher and flicking it at his brother’s face. “Cas just has good taste.”

Castiel grinned at Dean in that toothy, carefree way that made Dean’s stomach all flippy-floppy and warm for some reason.

Sam raised a hand to shield his face, his expression twisted in horror. “Dude, _gross_! Don’t put your fingers in there! I’m not drinking from that now.”

Kevin slid the pitcher towards Cas, looking devious, “Cas will drink it, right, Cas? ‘Cause of that crazy alcohol tolerance? Let’s just get him a straw for the pitcher and call it a day.”

“Yeah, Cas won’t mind,” Sam teased, “‘cause of that profound bond, y’know?”

Cas glared at Sam while Kevin laughed out loud. “Come on, Cas. Profoundly bond yourself to Dean’s finger beer. Chug, chug.”

Cas looked at Dean in a panic. Dean held up a palm to Kevin and shook his head, “All right, all right, that’s enough with that. The objective was to mock Cas for being cocky, not to land him in the hospital.”

“I don’t want that,” Cas blurted out rushedly.

“Besides,” Dean slurred, tilting his head at Cas and smiling widely, his green eyes twinkling fondly, “Cas needs to be mildly coherent for karaoke.”

“Exactly,” Cas retorted with a smug nod at Sam and Kevin. Then he blinked and turned to Dean, asking flatly, “Wait, what?”

“Yes!” Sam hissed excitedly.

“No.” Cas raised his beer to his lips, shaking his head.

“Oh yes.” Dean beamed.

“Oh _no_.”

Cas drank deeply from his beer, turning in his seat to watch two strangers wailing into the microphone (“ _Bay-beh, you’re my angel! You’re, you’re mah’ daaaarling angel--_ ”) on the dinky looking stage, arms wrapped around each other, clearly drunk off their asses.

Dean pointed at the drunk friends, his grin so wide that his eyes crinkled. “That’s gonna be us in like forty seconds.”

“You’re delusional,” Cas slurred, shaking his head. His drunk red face turned even redder as he flushed with embarrassment. Castiel tugged on the collar of the dark blue and black plaid shirt he’d borrowed from Dean, feeling a warm wave of potential humiliation on the horizon.

Dean poked him hard in the chest. “You’re singing with me, Cas! _Castiel, you’re my angel, you’re my something-something aaaangel!_ ”

“I am not, uh, singing with you,” Castiel replied back quickly, but the way Dean was fixing him with a cheerful, slightly crooked drunk smile was urging on a silly smile of his own. “I… I’m very good at this. I, uh, wouldn’t want to steal the limelight from you.”

Sam and Kevin doubled over with snickering laughter while Dean barred his teeth playfully and curled his finger, beckoning Cas towards him. “Oh, really? All right, Cas. Let’s see you steal that limelight.”

Castiel shook his head, but was laughing now. Dean grabbed his wrists as he tried to wiggle away, and pulled Cas off his chair. Dissolving into nervous, excited laughter, Cas tried to slide back onto the stool but Sam and Kevin booed, Sam even going as far as to yank the chair into the air, out of Cas’ reach as Dean dragged him away.

“Careful what you wish for,” Cas warned in between breathy laughter, raising his brows at Dean, who continued to tug Cas backwards towards the stage, bumping into other strangers’ tables, not caring. Dean was busy fixing Cas with a challenging stare, his mouth twisted into a fox-like smirk.

“Oh no,” Dean incited, throwing one leg up onto the stage, heaving himself up. As he yanked Cas up too, he yelled over the music, “I wish. I wish very much for this. Let’s see how amazing you are at this song, you cocky fucker.”

Cas stood up there as the other two drunk karaoke singers stumbled past him, clapping him on the shoulder and gushing about how much fun they had. They pushed microphones into his hands while Dean leaned over the DJ booth and yelled something in the old man’s ear. The elderly man in charge of the music, who was wearing sunglasses inside, nodded curtly. The song changed.

As guitars strummed loudly over their heads, Dean spun around, pointing at Cas and bobbing his head. Castiel couldn’t help but grin and laugh as Dean danced over and yanked a microphone from his hand, flashing him his middle finger.

Cas stood beside him, holding the microphone limping under his face, his shoulders shaking with amusement as Dean shook his hips, dancing stupidly and pointing at random people in the audience, blowing kisses.

As the guitars built up and then paused abruptly for a moment, Dean yanked the mic to his lips, and pointed to Sam and Kevin. He began to sing, horribly off key, “ _Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on! Livin' like a lover with a radar phone--”_

Cas shook his head, rubbing at his forehead, still smiling. Dean swung his arm at Cas, wiggling his hips at him a bit, singing and grinning, “ _Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp! Demolition woman, can I be your man?”_

“ _Hey! Hey!”_ Sam and Kevin cheered out in the crowd and whooped, even singing along as really shitty backup singers.

“Come on, let’s hear that voice of an angel,” Dean taunted, turning his mic away, doing that ridiculous hip wiggle. Castiel’s breath hitched a bit as he laughed, shaking his head, mouthing ‘no’.

“ _Razzle ‘n-’a-dazzle-'n-’a-flash-a little light_ ,” Dean sang into the mic, his voice terrible, though the incessant giggling didn’t help his performance, “ _television lover, baby, go all night! Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet!_ ” He saddled up beside Cas, bumping their hips together in an attempt to embarrass his friend. “ _Little miss-ah innocent sugar me, yeeeeah!”_

“Y _eeeeah_!” Sam repeated from the crowd, tossing his head back a bit. Beside him, Kevin’s shoulders shook with mirth.

Dean turned to Castiel and threw out his arms like a challenge.

“Bring it,” he chuckled, before raising the mic to his lips and singing with a waiver of laughter, “ _Come on!”_

Cas looked like he might not, but then he grinned and leaned forward, accepting the challenge. With enthusiasm, Castiel sang through hitches of laughter, “ _Take a bottle, shake it up, break the bubble, break it up!_ ”

Dean threw his head back and clutched the mic to his chest, indulging in a full body show of drunken glee. Cas was in his personal space, his face now, giggle-singing, _“Pour some sugar on me! Ooh, in the name of luuh-uuh-ve..._ ”

He got so into mocking Dean that he even forgot to have the mic at his lips for a few words.

Dean leaned forward too, their faces so close that the presence of two mics was probably overkill. Shutting his eyes, Dean sang-yelled with Cas, “ _Pour some sugar on me! C'mon - fire me uuuuuup! Pour your sugar on me!”_ Dean tilted his head from side to side, his cheeks hurting from smiling.  _“I can't get enough!”_

Cas stepped back, bending his elbows and wiggling his hips at Dean, trying to mimic and make fun of Dean’s little dance from earlier, but he accidentally looked rather sexy, and Dean forgot to laugh as he choked out, “Uh… I- _I'm hot, s-sticky sweet. From my head to my feet, yeeah.”_

Cas was still grinning though, swinging his hips a bit, his eyes lit up and excited suddenly, his embarrassment and reluctance forgotten. Even as he colossally messed up almost every word in the next line, Cas stepped into Dean’s personal space again, looking gleeful, more gleeful than Dean had ever seen him. Dean leaned in too, not to sing but to enjoy every little hitched chuckle in Cas’ voice and catch every twinkle in his eye.

“Mmmm... _yellow light, green light, some other coloured light_ ,” Cas sang into the mic, distracted by the crinkly lines around Dean’s eyes and the dazzling white grin. While Sam and Kevin howled, Cas didn’t have time to be embarrassed, because Dean was laughing so hard his head was hung forward and his shoulders were shaking. It was delightful.

Dean tilted his head to the side when Cas bent over too and sang with hearty, deep giggles, “ _Crazy little woman in a one man show, something-something queen, mannequin, rhythm of love -_ \- this doesn’t even really rhyme.”

Even the crowd laughed and Dean could barely gasp for air, laughing through his teeth, his shoulders continuing to shake with mirth. The music played on as Cas and Dean laughed hysterically on stage, the instrumental music playing on without vocals.

Castiel’s giddy beaming smile was right in Dean’s face. Shaking his head, Dean reached out and pushed his face away, only making Cas laugh harder, enjoying his own full body laugh.

Wiping away tears, Dean unfolded his torso and chuckled into the mic, “. _..anytime, sugar me sweet. Little miss innocent sugar me, yeah, yeah. Give a little more._ ”

Together, they sang, eyes twinkling at each other, hip-to-hip again. “ _Take a bottle, shake it up._ _Break the bubble, break it up!"_

Sam and Kevin pitched in from their table, swaying in their seats, beers splashing over the rim of their glasses as they danced a bit. _“Pour some sugar on me. Ooh, in the name of love. Pour some sugar on me. C'mon, fire me up!”_

 _“Pour your sugar on me!”_ Dean hollered, threading his arm around Cas’ waist, pleased when Cas’ eyebrows raised and he licked his lips subconsciously. Dean’s eyes flickered down to Cas’ glistening, full lips, “... _I can't get enough._

 _“You got the peaches, I got the cream,”_ Dean’s breath hitched a bit when Cas’ turned in his arm, wrapping one arm around Dean’s shoulders, his absurdly wide smile and adorable face inches away. Continuing on, with his eyes on Cas’ lips, Dean sang louder, “ _Sweet to taste, saccharine, ‘cause I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet from my head, my head to my feet…”_

The rest of the moderately crowded bar joined in with Sam and Kevin, who, in two minutes, managed to drink half of one of the pitchers and were yelling along with Dean and Cas, “ _Pour some sugar on me! Ooh, in the name of love! Poooour some sugar on me! C'mon, fire me uuuh-uuuh-p!”_

Dean and Cas pulled each other closer, Cas stumbling a bit as Dean’s leg nestled between his two legs. Dean tilted his head to the side, their sweaty foreheads pressed against each other.

Both men took deep breaths and they finished the song confidently, only pausing to dissolve into giggles at the very end when two girls in the front row screeched in unison, “NOW KISS!”

“Ain’t that kind of bar, ladies,” Dean called down to them, leaning over and grinning, pushing Cas towards the stage stairs.

As the crowd clapped and Sam and Kevin cheered and whooped, Castiel leaned in with a crooked, toothy smile, and yelled over the music, near Dean’s ear, “That’s a shame, Dean.”

Dean stared over Cas’ shoulder, biting his lip to stop from smiling more. His face already hurt from grinning and now he was worried the colony of butterflies in his stomach would lift him off his feet and carry him away.

Castiel pulled back, shrugging, a flush spreading over his cheeks, joining his alcohol-induced flush. “I… I’m too drunk,” Cas chuckled. “Forget what I said.”

With a gulp no one could hear over the blaring intro to ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears, Dean nodded at Cas and they handed off their mics to a group of friends that crowded onto the stage, taking over.

Sam was smirking and Kevin was gaping at them as they weaved back through the crowd towards the table. Cas slid back into his chair but Dean remained standing, glaring at his brother.

“What?” he barked.

“Dude,” Sam snickered, waving around a french fry from a fresh plate of gravy fries, “you guys have fun up there?”

“Yes,” Castiel interjected, sipping from his drink and shoving three fries into his mouth with zero concern for propriety, ”those other people were right; that was fun. I had fun.”

Cas looked surprised at his own words. “I had fun,” he repeated, his eyes twinkling at Dean.

Kevin and Sam exchanged knowing, wiggly eyebrows, while Dean rolled his eyes. “Whatever, losers. I gotta step out, it’s boiling in here--” he paused to clap Cas on the shoulder, “--you warm, Cas?”

When Cas nodded enthusiastically, Dean gestured to the door. He gave Sam and Kevin the middle finger, waving it in their faces as he and Cas walked away from the table. “Fuck you, dickheads. I know what you’re thinking about and you’re gonna shut up right now--”

“Just kisssss,” Kevin simpered, while Sam made a puckering face at them.

“ _Pour some sugar on Cas_!” Sam sang after them.

Kevin howled with laughter, choking out, “ _Yeah, fire him uuuh-uuhp!_ ”

“What are they talking about?” Cas asked, hiccuping and letting himself be dragged out by his sleeve.

“Nothing, they’re being idiots. Anyway, I’m pretty wasted,” Dean yelled over the music, pushing open the doors to the outside world, “but not enough to enjoy some 2003 Britney Spears.”

They stepped outside, alone in the parking lot except for a group of people smoking around the corner. Both Dean and Cas sighed happily in unison as cool air soothed their hot, sweaty skin.

Cas tilted his head up to the sky, gasping in air and grinning. “ _Yes._ This breeze is amazing on my face.” He began undoing the buttons of his shirt and yanked it off his arms, groaning.

When he opened his eyes, Dean was eyeing his t-shirt, watching his chest through hooded eyes. He had a soft, strange looking crooked smile on his lips. His dark green eyes trailed over Castiel’s arms and stomach, then settled on his face.

“What?” Cas asked, but he wasn’t stupid. He was drunk. And really warm. But not stupid.

Dean bit his lip like he was trying not to laugh, but then he leaned his head back just a bit and sang softly, shimmying his hips, “ _I’m hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet--”_

 _“Yeaaah,”_ Cas sang with him, a deep giggle rumbling in his throat. Dean paused to chuckle, but Castiel continued, turning his body towards Dean, stepping into his personal space like they’d done on stage.

“ _You got the peaches, I got the cream,_ ” he sang, his raspy voice even hoarser from their overly enthusiastic karaoke session.

Dean laughed again, his crows feet deepening, somehow making him look younger as his eyes twinkled. “Oh, so now you know the words perfectly?”

“ _Sweet to taste, saccharine,_ ” Cas breathed. He slid an arm around Dean’s shoulder.

“Oh.” Dean’s mouth watered. He leaned in to Cas as the space between them shrunk, and his arm snaked around Cas’ waist, mimicking their poses from on stage. “How sweet, d’you think?”

Cas - who didn’t know when waitresses flirted with him and thought porn should have a plot, but knew Dean Winchester like the back of his hand - leaned in so close to the side of Dean’s face that the sweat-damp tips of his bangs tickled Dean’s temple.

“Have a taste for yourself. You tell me.”

Turned out, Dean found through a thorough investigation done in front of the karaoke bar, up against a brick wall, through laughter and the slippery meeting of lips and tongues, Castiel tasted very, very sweet.


End file.
